Normandy - Tastefully Refined Genocide

[Kubboz]

Poor T16, getting to share the name with that Kevin guy...

I like the front end by the way. It's my kind of styling, I tell you.

[t00thPIK]

I must be Kevin then, because I quite like the MR2. i.e. the pinnacle of the MR2, the SW20.

[VosNox]

So, it's 1988. Die Hard just came out, the war in Iraq is over, Billy Ocean is a the top of the charts, and Enzo Ferrari is dead. All in all, a damn good year. You got a great job at for Wall Street and, a blond bombshell for a wife and three not-as-bad-as-you-thought kids. And every morning, you kick yourself out of bed and into your American Flag boxers, salute the stars and strips with your morning wood, and bask in the glory of Capitalism. God damn, it's great to be American. But, ho! What's that on the horizon? Ah shit! It's your 40th birthday, and you know what that means.

Upon the arrival of their 40th year, every man endeavors on a quest to reclaim that which was stolen by time. They must match the mythical beast toe-to-toe in singular combat. They must engage... The mid-life crisis. You will listen to music have no Earthly business listening to. You will engage girls have your age in conversation and dress like a blind gay man. You will go to clubs and get odd looks from girls you shouldn't have looked at in the first place. But ultimately, your first task to get the girls will be to buy an unnecessarily expensive car. Be it Countach, Testorossa, or a 964. It matters not.


Normandy has seen the competition, and it has scoffed. Here, I present the Cavallo 342. with 342 HP V8, a 5-speed RWD gearbox, and the looks to make Enzo's corpse blush. for $110,000 you can reclaim your former glory.

[Oskiinus]

Great car! On side pic it looks just like a car that was supposed to be in Stratosphere.

[TheBobWiley]

You got a great job at for Wall Street and, a blond bombshell for a wife and three not-as-bad-as-you-thought kids. And every morning, you kick yourself out of bed and into your American Flag boxers, salute the stars and strips with your morning wood, and bask in the glory of Capitalism. God damn, it's great to be American.

The most American thing I have ever heard

[VosNox]

In mid summer 1999 a man by the name of Carson Thoba was engaged with a multi state police chase. Over the course of four days he lead every form of local, state and county police from Eastern Kentucky to Las Vegas. He evaded every single attempt by the authorities to catch him, even gaining as much as a four-hour lead. It would be later revealed that he was a stunt driver for 20th Century Fox and was being perused for expire tags. The vehicle in question was a Normandy Uprora. It shipped with a 530 HP turbo charged i6 and a 6-speed AWD gearbox.

[VosNox]

Back in 2001 Normandy was in a bit of a bind. See, the market was shifting, and everyone else was killing off all their sporty cars in favor of high mileage bullshit. So, Normandy designed a car specifically for this trend. It was simply called the 242. 2 doors, 4 cylinders, 2 wheel (FF) drive. It was to be released with three distinct markets in mind: JDM, EUM, and NAM. Continuing Normandy's flat out hatred of Japan, the Japanese Domestic Market was given only one option: A pithy 1.4 8V SOC i4 that made 70 HP. You had a choice of an automatic 4-speed and that's it. It was sold for the equivalent of $20K The European Market was given a 1.5 8V SOC i4 that produced 80 HP or a 1.5 16V SOC that produced 90. It was sold with either a 5-speed manual or 4-speed automatic, for roughly $23K There was even a diesel version available for $22.5K

Now, the North American Market is where it gets a bit tricky. See, Normandy was all set to give the yanks a 1.6 SOC 16V that made 105 HP and two gearboxes. That's it. Give them a cheap-ass econo-box and wish them fairly well. But guess what movie came out that year? You're god damn right. The Fast and The Furious. The trailer came out early that year which gave until June 22 for Normandy to makes it mark on the Tuner scene. A week before the 242 was to be shipped, the CEO and the boys at the skunk works, much to the dismay of a million dealerships, pulled every advertising campaign and every shipment. The car was redesigned from the ground up. The NAM 242 was fitted with a 2.0L DOHC 16V i4 producing 200 HP, retuned sports suspension, bigger alloy wheels, and 4 wheel disc breaks. The standard 5-speed manual was sold for $25k and the Auto was sold for $27k

But, Normandy was quite finished yet. After several booze fueled arguments, The CEO finally agreed to develop and release a Turbo version for $30K. It created 250 HP. A month after the release of the movie, Normandy than released RWD and AWD versions for $30k and $33k respectively. The reworked internals for the RWD version allowed for a redline for 8K and maintained its 200 HP. The same 250 HP was created with the addition of a turbo. The AWD was lauded as being able to keep pace with the more expensive STI's and Evo's.

Alas, the 242's time in the sun was short lived. In the year that followed the release of both it and F&F the sales dropped significantly when people realized they could get as much power, for far cheaper with mid 90's Hondas and Nissans.

[Oskiinus]

242's a JDM...?
I guess not, but I guess that it looks quite nice.

[VosNox]

Look what I just set on Green Hell. With a 4-door saloon car.

[NormanVauxhall]

For what I see from the image, that time can be set on automation test track with a very slow car too

[strop]

It would take talent to set a time of 6:58 on the AT test track... a talent I might lack...

[nialloftara]

Idk try just giving the nighthawk 4wheel 160mm drum brakes and skinny off-road tires.

[VosNox]

If you want a small and sporty truck in 1992, you were absolutely spoiled for choice. Everyone from Ford, Chevy and Dodge, to Mazda, Toyota and Nissan had an option for you. But, as the market decided they were all very... purpose built. Designed to do truck things and really not much else. Most, were small, high compression i4's with a few V8's few and far between. Normandy decided it needed to try to take a small piece of that market for itself. In rides the Colt. It comes in three options.

The ST comes with a 2.0L DOHC i4 producing 180 HP for $22k
The GTS comes with a 3.0L DOHC v6 producing 220 HP for $24k
The XT comes with a 3.0L DOHC v6 Producing 270 HP , with a top speed of 157 mph for $26k
And the rarer LTD with a 5.0L DOHC V8 producing 450 HP, with a top speed of 190 mph for $30K

The prices are with a standard 5-speed manual. Add an addtional $1k for a 4-speed auto, and $3k for a manual locker AWD gearbox.

Towing capacities range from about 1500 to upwards of 3000 lbs.

All options came with a CD / tape deck, 4 speakers, AC, power everything, power steering, ABS and Traction Control, 4-wheel disc brakes as standard.
The GTS, XT, and LTD come with a sunroof as well.

*The XT is shown here.

[VosNox]

So, it's 2004 and you've just earned your BA in Fine arts, with a minor in Women's History. Everyone in your family from upstate Rhode Island is at the ceremony. And now, with nearly $80k in college debt you strike out on your own to prove to the world that you're a strong woman who don't need no hand outs. You're gonna need a job right? Of course you are. Luckily for you, your girlfriend Janice has an in and hooks you up with a job at a call center for a debt collection agency. Oh, the irony.

Being the great up-and-comer you are, you swiftly make a name for yourself and get bumped up to middle management. With that promotion comes a nifty bonus to and a boost to your already over inflated ego. Now, a woman like you can't be seen in public rolling a '93 Honda with 300k on the dash. You need a car that makes people look in awe. Sure, you could go for a Jaguar or a lower level Porsche, but no, that's what you're competition drives. You need something that shows everyone that they are in the presence of a take-charge, no bullshit, weapons-grade bitch.

So what do you do? Where do you go? I'll tell you what, you slam that 20 year old Honda into gear and you sputter your way to Normandy were we have just the perfect car for you. New for 2005 comes the Alexa. A two-door RWD sports hatch made especially for you. It comes with an all aluminum DOHC 24v i6 producing 280 HP and either a 6-speed manual (which you won't drive because you'll need a free hand for your Starbucks) and a 5-speed automatic gearbox. Also included with this car comes a tote containing the following:

A two-toned bob style haircut
An old sign made of reclaimed wood, rusted metal coat hangers, and aged copper that reads "Live, Laugh, Love"
A stick figure family decal for the rear window
An obsession with yoga and gluten-free diets
A Pintrest addiction
A "Jesus Fish" symbol
A Mary Kay start up
A bottle of Pinot Grigio
Tickets to Fifty Shades of Grey
A tattoo of "Carpe Diem" for the small of your back, and a rose for your ankle
An undeniable compulsion to "Speak to the manager", ask why "my son is on the bench", and open every sentence with "as a mother".
A lifetime supply of gum.
And a Marine for a husband.

You can have all of this for $50k. But bear in mind, this car is merely a stepping stone. Once you get married (again) and have more kids, you'll be compelled to either drive either a Yukon or a Honda Odyssey.

[utopian201]

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