Thu Dec 04, 2014 2:09 am
France, Land of Passion, Land of Tempers (Part 2)
The rustic charm of Le Mans, one of the most ancient preserved cities of France, hailing from the era of war between the Gaulish tribes and the Roman empire, was shrouded in darkness as the racers assembled. Turning off the freeway and heading down the D338, they slipped into le Chemin aux Boeufs just after the deadly Tetre Rouge, settling into the parking lot.
Alighting from the van somewhere behind, the Gryphon Gear team immediately pulled out several boxes of tools, fishing out what looked like an assortment of pneumatic and orthopaedic tools. “Alright, let’s move quickly, before anybody notices what we’re doing,” Hannah ordered, and immediately, Tesla and Noah got to work on the barriers blocking the turnoff from Dunlop onto the main straight, undoing the bolts that kept them anchored into the ground.
“I didn’t realise that this stage was going to be this illegal,” a bemused and slightly concerned Jack Cossack said, fiddling with his hammer.
“What do you expect,” Hannah replied, bustling past with a drill in hand. “It’s part street part circuit. We can’t just order the council to close the roads for two hours on a whim like that, hell, we can’t even speak French.”
“Hmm.” Jack scratched his chin in thought, weighing up the ethics of trespass and illegal street racing versus the benefits of the joy of two dozen idiots driving lunatic machines down a public highway at speeds exceeding two hundred miles an hour. To him, there was a clear winner.
“I’ll go scope out the roads,” he said, climbing back into his Combi and screeching off, mod lights flashing.
In a straggling line, the cars of the Barely Street Legal League proceeded around the lap of the legendary Circuit de la Sarthe, warming up their tyres with side to side weaving as they traversed down the highway. Seeded in order of overall standings, the benchmark Gryphon Gear cars Mephisto and Sleipnir locked out the front row, followed by the Baltazar Thanatos Estate and the supercar racer, the Gemina XIII GTX. In the Peapod, Strop sat way back in the seventh row, quietly fretting to himself. He was pretty sure Kai and Sam were still going to be pissed at each other, and after Sam’s little jinking stunt, he wasn’t sure they weren’t going to run each other off the road right from the get go. And being in much much faster cars than his, he could do nothing to stop them.
“Okay lady and gentlemen,” Tesla had control of the public radio channel. “Remember this is half circuit, half street. Watch out for traffic. There are no barriers to tell you which turns to take, but we trust you know the course. If you get lost, that’s your problem! If you crash, nobody knows what you were doing. Jack Cossack will have flashing lights on his car. We will also have flashing lights on our van. If you see a third set, get the hell out of here.”
The cars formed into single file as they swung through the double chicanes that marked the entry into the finishing straight. They slowed to a stop on the marked lines, and waited, engines rumbling, feet poised on the loud pedals. Less than a minute until Le Mans came alive with the sound and thunder of midnight racing.
Noah, now dressed in the uniform of the Police Nationale, complete with pointy bonnet de police, marched out to the starting line and stood in front, baton in hand. He raised his arms, waiting a few seconds as the pitch of the engines rose in a buzzing chorus, to fever pitch.
Then he flung his hands down and they were off!
Straight away, the wheels of the cars of the front rows bit and they shot into the darkness. With hundred times only a shade over two seconds, the Mephisto, Sleipnir, Thanatos Estate and the Gemina launched almost in unison, with the SD-01R hanging on. Enry’s Achernar, with its all-wheel drive, latched onto the tail of the SD-01R, while further behind, the retuned and even faster ULTRA X driven by a slightly over-caffeinated Seba Machado III blitzed past the rear wheel drive coupes and older AWDs in the middle of the pack to close in on the little hatch.
Up front, even before the first rightward kink leading into Dunlop, the Thanatos Estate replicated its stunning quarter mile performance, passing Sam’s Sleipnir before closing in on Kai’s Mephisto, gaining the advantage with superior downforce through the first turn. Yuri, in the Gemina, also tried to follow suit, but Sam, sights set on Kai, ignored him and as they braked hard into the Chicane, they ended up side by side, with Yuri on the left and Sam on the right. Yuri got the jump on Sam in the first part, but Sam, with superior cornering, had the advantage on the follow through and slipped ahead once more.
In the middle of the pack, the chicane became very crowded, and Strop found himself in the thick of it, struggling to make any headway as every coupe had crammed itself two and three abreast. The Hulk had shot ahead initially but it had to negotiate Dunlop, and kept braking there, and so was also passed by the Debrauna, Griffin, Mutant, Brimstone, Infernalis, Lunatic , Emperion and Annihilator as they all squeezed into the chicanes together. The wheels of the Civic lifted off the inside corner as Strop almost cut into the gravel, plunging extra wide into the entry to set up an extra tight line coming out and slipping ahead, only to be surrounded again by the more powerful models as they sped towards the Esses.
With the combination of speed and technical corners, already the field was being divided into two packs on the basis of overall race ability. Behind, the other front wheel drive cars, with no driving aids and oodles of power, struggled to get it all on the ground, teetering around and kicking up smoke, alongside the collection of heavier sedans, and historical cars, all rounded up by the mod car of Jack, lights flashing and siren blaring. But even with this gap as it was now, it would all change the moment they entered the Musanne Straight.
First, Tetre Rouge. With reckless abandon, the first of the cars screamed through the corner at a hundred miles an hour, joining the highway, the wailing notes of their turbocharged engines echoing into the surrounding countryside as they sped up. Even with high beams on, reaching speeds in excess of three hundred, three hundred and fifty, the night was a jangled blur of road lines and the faint black impressions of trees. With a lower top speed, Sleipnir and the Thanatos Estate were easily overtaken by every car with a top speed of four hundred or more. Already ahead, the Mephisto disappeared into the distance, and even while Sam gripped the steering wheel and mashed his foot harder on the pedal, there was nothing he could do about it.
There were no barriers or kerbs in place to denote the two chicanes interrupting the Mulsanne Straight. But honour dictated that every racer braked hard, eyeballs bulging out of their sockets as the field bunched up. Now Mephisto was tailed by the Gemina, and the SD-01R, with the Yacare’s extreme top speed nestling itself right in the mix of things, in front of the Mutant. The Hulk had blown by most of the slower coupes on the straight, but was passed again and now held at bay by the hatchback Archernar and Brimstone. However, the start of the race had segregated the cars out so thoroughly that even with insane top speed, the Ruby was not able to catch up to the tail of the main pack, instead leading the rear pack, followed by the Vindicator, the Elegance DA, the E30 LS7 M, the Combi, alongside the Kodiak, slowly but surely outstripping the second slowest car of the tournament, the RB-02. But already, the ancient hobomobile, the Testis, had already fallen behind, being watched over by the unusually fast Gryphon Gear Transit van, complete with a ‘borrowed’ flashing light.
“Hooooo-eeee!” Hannah squeaked, feeling the scary boost at the top of the rev range and alternately surging forward and backing away she experienced seventeen hundred newton meters of torque rushing to the wheels for the first time in several months. “How the hell is this so fast!?” Even terrified of the throttle as she was, the all-wheel drive van was easily keeping up with the Testis, racing down the back straights in excess of three hundred as beside her, Tesla clutched the sides of the seat in whimpering terror.
Back up the front, and the front pack was already bearing down upon the second chicane of the Mulsanne Straight. Behind them, the faster cars had broken away from the second pack, trying to bridge the gap, but even the insane speed of the Hulk, smashing the four hundred kilometres per hour the old Peugeot prototypes used to do when the straight was referred to as Les Hunaudinaires, was only barely able to catch up to Sleipnir before the second chicane, wobbling around on its thin tyres as it struggled to slow down, nearly collecting the MR prototype as they edged into the left kink. With superior grip, Sleipnir gave The Hulk the slip on the exit, giving it the advantage it needed to hold it off again through the Mulsanne Kink and finally the ninety degrees of Mulsanne corner.
The blue and yellow kerbs, lit up incandescent under the headlights, were the only clue of the corner to be taken, deviating from the main highway, and the braking point, and the road became a sea of tail-lights. The noise of screeching tyres echoed through the roundabout as wheels locked up and cars bounced over kerbs, the sand trap, nearly bowling over the signposts at the side of the road as they wove all over the intersection. After the Mephisto, Thanatos Estate, Gemini, and AR.MA SD-01 R were on their way to Indianapolis, Sleipnir followed close behind, battling the corner with the Yacare. But the Hulk snuck past them both, braking almost suicidally late, plowing into the sand trap and taking an ultra-wide line well off the course, kicking sand all over the road as it fishtailed back onto the course, intent on maximum speed.
The second pack was still tightly bunched, a swarm of angry hornets weaving in and out and jostling for track position. The Achernar led the charge, alongside the Brimstone, and side by side they swung around the corner, trying to hold back the larger and more powerful Griffin, Mutant, Lunatic and Annihilator. The Emperion and Infernallis, with much lower top speeds had dropped back slightly, just keeping in sight. Hot on their heels was paradoxically the slowest of the FF cars, Peapod, followed by the other three FF cars. The rest of the cars straggled through in single file, first the Elegance DA, then the Vindicator, E30 LS7 M, Felicia Combi, and Kodiak. The Gryphon Gear van was still babysitting Testis, another three seconds back.
The next long back straight to Indianapolis was an even narrower road, with only grass for a shoulder. The broken white lines rushed by underneath as the cars picked up speed again, going blind around the gentle right handed kinks of Pierre Baude, hoping and praying that they wouldn’t run into any traffic. With the advantageous balance of speed and handling, Mephisto surged ahead, tail lights flicking around the bend and out of sight, working up nearly two seconds of advantage over the Thanatos Estate by the time it screeched around Indianapolis, and then shortly after, the tight right hander of Arnage.
The high speed sections of the circuit had served the top speed cars well, but now that the Porsche curves were upon them, it was those who could maintain high cornering speeds that benefited the most. The pace setter, Mephisto, breezed through at speeds of nearly two hundred, zipping through the fields, over the bridge, and past the tree lined parade as it plunged deeper back into the race estate. Frustratingly, the Gemina, with less downforce, started slipping behind progressively, and in the distance, Sleipnir started hauling them back in, re-passing The Hulk, as did the SD-01R and, a few seconds later, the Yacare. From the middle pack, the superior cornering of the Debrauna once again led to it working its way out and into the front, and the newer AWD competitors, with their superior grip, managed to sort themselves into the front of the pack. From the back of this pack, Strop, having driven many laps around the course himself, could almost navigate the curves with his eyes closed, and so fearlessly pushed Peapod to the limit, straining against the harness as the car pulled over two lateral G, blowing by the Lunatic, Infernalis, Brimstone and then Mutant with ease. Further back, the gap opened up, as the ultra-powerful front wheel drives struggled to keep their way on the road, and of all things, the little hatchback of the RB-02 was back on the scene, josting with the big wagon Ruby for track position!
Hard on the brakes into the double chicane, the traffic sorted themselves out single file, spitting out the Mephisto, still unchallenged all the way across the finish line. The Thanatos Estate was next, just over a second later. Then it was a huge five second gap to the next car, the Gemini, whose higher speed advantage held off a resurgent Sleipnir to the line by under a second, and in turn, the super-fast AWD coupe, the SD-01R. Then there was a three second gap, and into the chicanes, the Yacare and Debrauna battled, the Debrauna looking for a way past, but unable to overtake as coming out of the chicanes at the same speed, the Yacare sped away to claim the next spot by four tenths of a second.
A most unlikely battle ensued, for on the last straight, the lumbering mass of The Hulk had picked up a bit of an advantage over the other all-wheel drive cars, but then was caught up by the Archernar as it braked early to negotiate the chicanes. The Achernar somehow managed to squeeze by on the shoulder, getting out in front on the exit, but Reece would have none of it, putting his foot down. Three thousand horsepower was mercifully tapered down to the wheels, and both the Achernar and Hulk sped to the finish, side by side. It was the Hulk that put its nose barely in front, tipping the laser timer a mere three hundredths of a second before the little hatchback that could, followed a second and a half later by the Griffin. Just behind that, Strop viciously threw his Peapod through the chicanes, almost cutting the kerb as the front struggled with understeer, but still blasting across the line well clear of the next pack in eleventh.
The next four cars came bunched in tightly too, two battles unfolding simultaneously. The Brimstone, with its shorter wheel base, pushed through the corners a little better, holding the Mutant off through the chicanes, but the wheels spun as thirteen hundred horses overwhelmed the rears, giving the Mutant just that little bit of a headstart, edging in front by four hundredths of a second. Right behind them, the Infernalis and Lunatic battled, side by side, and the Lunatic’s tendency to slide betrayed it at the last moment, wheels smoking as it accelerated up the stretch with the tail out, slipping behind to hand the win to the Infernalis, its ultra-long first gear allowing it to take off more smoothly.
Having slipped behind for lacking both the utter speed of some, and the cornering of others, the Necronia Emperion was next, leading on the Annihilator by a second. Then there was a long silence as it wasn’t until seven seconds later that Rayyan screamed through, bonkers FF coupe burning out up the straight. The RB-02 was shortly behind, nipping through the final chicane ahead of the lumbering Ruby, and getting off the mark a little better, as the Ruby’s front wheels completely let go, shredding its front tyres all the way to the finish.
It wasn’t until five seconds later that the rest of the cars started coming through, now increasingly spread out. The Elegance DA, Vindicator and E30 LS7 M had all formed an orderly line of disorderly driving, the older and cheaper cars with parts fatigued and fading from the sustained abuse of all out speed and fast corners. Even more disorderly were the Felicia Combi, leading on the Kodiak, whose saving grace was the retuned brakes, now with ventilation that saved it from melting down entirely. By some mercy, the terrifying ride of the two speed in the rattling old junker, the Testis, did not end in a wreck, and despite almost taking a wrong turn several times from drinking far too much gin, it rattled across the line to round off the race.
Alighting from the van somewhere behind, the Gryphon Gear team immediately pulled out several boxes of tools, fishing out what looked like an assortment of pneumatic and orthopaedic tools. “Alright, let’s move quickly, before anybody notices what we’re doing,” Hannah ordered, and immediately, Tesla and Noah got to work on the barriers blocking the turnoff from Dunlop onto the main straight, undoing the bolts that kept them anchored into the ground.
“I didn’t realise that this stage was going to be this illegal,” a bemused and slightly concerned Jack Cossack said, fiddling with his hammer.
“What do you expect,” Hannah replied, bustling past with a drill in hand. “It’s part street part circuit. We can’t just order the council to close the roads for two hours on a whim like that, hell, we can’t even speak French.”
“Hmm.” Jack scratched his chin in thought, weighing up the ethics of trespass and illegal street racing versus the benefits of the joy of two dozen idiots driving lunatic machines down a public highway at speeds exceeding two hundred miles an hour. To him, there was a clear winner.
“I’ll go scope out the roads,” he said, climbing back into his Combi and screeching off, mod lights flashing.
In a straggling line, the cars of the Barely Street Legal League proceeded around the lap of the legendary Circuit de la Sarthe, warming up their tyres with side to side weaving as they traversed down the highway. Seeded in order of overall standings, the benchmark Gryphon Gear cars Mephisto and Sleipnir locked out the front row, followed by the Baltazar Thanatos Estate and the supercar racer, the Gemina XIII GTX. In the Peapod, Strop sat way back in the seventh row, quietly fretting to himself. He was pretty sure Kai and Sam were still going to be pissed at each other, and after Sam’s little jinking stunt, he wasn’t sure they weren’t going to run each other off the road right from the get go. And being in much much faster cars than his, he could do nothing to stop them.
“Okay lady and gentlemen,” Tesla had control of the public radio channel. “Remember this is half circuit, half street. Watch out for traffic. There are no barriers to tell you which turns to take, but we trust you know the course. If you get lost, that’s your problem! If you crash, nobody knows what you were doing. Jack Cossack will have flashing lights on his car. We will also have flashing lights on our van. If you see a third set, get the hell out of here.”
The cars formed into single file as they swung through the double chicanes that marked the entry into the finishing straight. They slowed to a stop on the marked lines, and waited, engines rumbling, feet poised on the loud pedals. Less than a minute until Le Mans came alive with the sound and thunder of midnight racing.
Noah, now dressed in the uniform of the Police Nationale, complete with pointy bonnet de police, marched out to the starting line and stood in front, baton in hand. He raised his arms, waiting a few seconds as the pitch of the engines rose in a buzzing chorus, to fever pitch.
Then he flung his hands down and they were off!
Straight away, the wheels of the cars of the front rows bit and they shot into the darkness. With hundred times only a shade over two seconds, the Mephisto, Sleipnir, Thanatos Estate and the Gemina launched almost in unison, with the SD-01R hanging on. Enry’s Achernar, with its all-wheel drive, latched onto the tail of the SD-01R, while further behind, the retuned and even faster ULTRA X driven by a slightly over-caffeinated Seba Machado III blitzed past the rear wheel drive coupes and older AWDs in the middle of the pack to close in on the little hatch.
Up front, even before the first rightward kink leading into Dunlop, the Thanatos Estate replicated its stunning quarter mile performance, passing Sam’s Sleipnir before closing in on Kai’s Mephisto, gaining the advantage with superior downforce through the first turn. Yuri, in the Gemina, also tried to follow suit, but Sam, sights set on Kai, ignored him and as they braked hard into the Chicane, they ended up side by side, with Yuri on the left and Sam on the right. Yuri got the jump on Sam in the first part, but Sam, with superior cornering, had the advantage on the follow through and slipped ahead once more.
In the middle of the pack, the chicane became very crowded, and Strop found himself in the thick of it, struggling to make any headway as every coupe had crammed itself two and three abreast. The Hulk had shot ahead initially but it had to negotiate Dunlop, and kept braking there, and so was also passed by the Debrauna, Griffin, Mutant, Brimstone, Infernalis, Lunatic , Emperion and Annihilator as they all squeezed into the chicanes together. The wheels of the Civic lifted off the inside corner as Strop almost cut into the gravel, plunging extra wide into the entry to set up an extra tight line coming out and slipping ahead, only to be surrounded again by the more powerful models as they sped towards the Esses.
With the combination of speed and technical corners, already the field was being divided into two packs on the basis of overall race ability. Behind, the other front wheel drive cars, with no driving aids and oodles of power, struggled to get it all on the ground, teetering around and kicking up smoke, alongside the collection of heavier sedans, and historical cars, all rounded up by the mod car of Jack, lights flashing and siren blaring. But even with this gap as it was now, it would all change the moment they entered the Musanne Straight.
First, Tetre Rouge. With reckless abandon, the first of the cars screamed through the corner at a hundred miles an hour, joining the highway, the wailing notes of their turbocharged engines echoing into the surrounding countryside as they sped up. Even with high beams on, reaching speeds in excess of three hundred, three hundred and fifty, the night was a jangled blur of road lines and the faint black impressions of trees. With a lower top speed, Sleipnir and the Thanatos Estate were easily overtaken by every car with a top speed of four hundred or more. Already ahead, the Mephisto disappeared into the distance, and even while Sam gripped the steering wheel and mashed his foot harder on the pedal, there was nothing he could do about it.
There were no barriers or kerbs in place to denote the two chicanes interrupting the Mulsanne Straight. But honour dictated that every racer braked hard, eyeballs bulging out of their sockets as the field bunched up. Now Mephisto was tailed by the Gemina, and the SD-01R, with the Yacare’s extreme top speed nestling itself right in the mix of things, in front of the Mutant. The Hulk had blown by most of the slower coupes on the straight, but was passed again and now held at bay by the hatchback Archernar and Brimstone. However, the start of the race had segregated the cars out so thoroughly that even with insane top speed, the Ruby was not able to catch up to the tail of the main pack, instead leading the rear pack, followed by the Vindicator, the Elegance DA, the E30 LS7 M, the Combi, alongside the Kodiak, slowly but surely outstripping the second slowest car of the tournament, the RB-02. But already, the ancient hobomobile, the Testis, had already fallen behind, being watched over by the unusually fast Gryphon Gear Transit van, complete with a ‘borrowed’ flashing light.
“Hooooo-eeee!” Hannah squeaked, feeling the scary boost at the top of the rev range and alternately surging forward and backing away she experienced seventeen hundred newton meters of torque rushing to the wheels for the first time in several months. “How the hell is this so fast!?” Even terrified of the throttle as she was, the all-wheel drive van was easily keeping up with the Testis, racing down the back straights in excess of three hundred as beside her, Tesla clutched the sides of the seat in whimpering terror.
Back up the front, and the front pack was already bearing down upon the second chicane of the Mulsanne Straight. Behind them, the faster cars had broken away from the second pack, trying to bridge the gap, but even the insane speed of the Hulk, smashing the four hundred kilometres per hour the old Peugeot prototypes used to do when the straight was referred to as Les Hunaudinaires, was only barely able to catch up to Sleipnir before the second chicane, wobbling around on its thin tyres as it struggled to slow down, nearly collecting the MR prototype as they edged into the left kink. With superior grip, Sleipnir gave The Hulk the slip on the exit, giving it the advantage it needed to hold it off again through the Mulsanne Kink and finally the ninety degrees of Mulsanne corner.
The blue and yellow kerbs, lit up incandescent under the headlights, were the only clue of the corner to be taken, deviating from the main highway, and the braking point, and the road became a sea of tail-lights. The noise of screeching tyres echoed through the roundabout as wheels locked up and cars bounced over kerbs, the sand trap, nearly bowling over the signposts at the side of the road as they wove all over the intersection. After the Mephisto, Thanatos Estate, Gemini, and AR.MA SD-01 R were on their way to Indianapolis, Sleipnir followed close behind, battling the corner with the Yacare. But the Hulk snuck past them both, braking almost suicidally late, plowing into the sand trap and taking an ultra-wide line well off the course, kicking sand all over the road as it fishtailed back onto the course, intent on maximum speed.
The second pack was still tightly bunched, a swarm of angry hornets weaving in and out and jostling for track position. The Achernar led the charge, alongside the Brimstone, and side by side they swung around the corner, trying to hold back the larger and more powerful Griffin, Mutant, Lunatic and Annihilator. The Emperion and Infernallis, with much lower top speeds had dropped back slightly, just keeping in sight. Hot on their heels was paradoxically the slowest of the FF cars, Peapod, followed by the other three FF cars. The rest of the cars straggled through in single file, first the Elegance DA, then the Vindicator, E30 LS7 M, Felicia Combi, and Kodiak. The Gryphon Gear van was still babysitting Testis, another three seconds back.
The next long back straight to Indianapolis was an even narrower road, with only grass for a shoulder. The broken white lines rushed by underneath as the cars picked up speed again, going blind around the gentle right handed kinks of Pierre Baude, hoping and praying that they wouldn’t run into any traffic. With the advantageous balance of speed and handling, Mephisto surged ahead, tail lights flicking around the bend and out of sight, working up nearly two seconds of advantage over the Thanatos Estate by the time it screeched around Indianapolis, and then shortly after, the tight right hander of Arnage.
The high speed sections of the circuit had served the top speed cars well, but now that the Porsche curves were upon them, it was those who could maintain high cornering speeds that benefited the most. The pace setter, Mephisto, breezed through at speeds of nearly two hundred, zipping through the fields, over the bridge, and past the tree lined parade as it plunged deeper back into the race estate. Frustratingly, the Gemina, with less downforce, started slipping behind progressively, and in the distance, Sleipnir started hauling them back in, re-passing The Hulk, as did the SD-01R and, a few seconds later, the Yacare. From the middle pack, the superior cornering of the Debrauna once again led to it working its way out and into the front, and the newer AWD competitors, with their superior grip, managed to sort themselves into the front of the pack. From the back of this pack, Strop, having driven many laps around the course himself, could almost navigate the curves with his eyes closed, and so fearlessly pushed Peapod to the limit, straining against the harness as the car pulled over two lateral G, blowing by the Lunatic, Infernalis, Brimstone and then Mutant with ease. Further back, the gap opened up, as the ultra-powerful front wheel drives struggled to keep their way on the road, and of all things, the little hatchback of the RB-02 was back on the scene, josting with the big wagon Ruby for track position!
Hard on the brakes into the double chicane, the traffic sorted themselves out single file, spitting out the Mephisto, still unchallenged all the way across the finish line. The Thanatos Estate was next, just over a second later. Then it was a huge five second gap to the next car, the Gemini, whose higher speed advantage held off a resurgent Sleipnir to the line by under a second, and in turn, the super-fast AWD coupe, the SD-01R. Then there was a three second gap, and into the chicanes, the Yacare and Debrauna battled, the Debrauna looking for a way past, but unable to overtake as coming out of the chicanes at the same speed, the Yacare sped away to claim the next spot by four tenths of a second.
A most unlikely battle ensued, for on the last straight, the lumbering mass of The Hulk had picked up a bit of an advantage over the other all-wheel drive cars, but then was caught up by the Archernar as it braked early to negotiate the chicanes. The Achernar somehow managed to squeeze by on the shoulder, getting out in front on the exit, but Reece would have none of it, putting his foot down. Three thousand horsepower was mercifully tapered down to the wheels, and both the Achernar and Hulk sped to the finish, side by side. It was the Hulk that put its nose barely in front, tipping the laser timer a mere three hundredths of a second before the little hatchback that could, followed a second and a half later by the Griffin. Just behind that, Strop viciously threw his Peapod through the chicanes, almost cutting the kerb as the front struggled with understeer, but still blasting across the line well clear of the next pack in eleventh.
The next four cars came bunched in tightly too, two battles unfolding simultaneously. The Brimstone, with its shorter wheel base, pushed through the corners a little better, holding the Mutant off through the chicanes, but the wheels spun as thirteen hundred horses overwhelmed the rears, giving the Mutant just that little bit of a headstart, edging in front by four hundredths of a second. Right behind them, the Infernalis and Lunatic battled, side by side, and the Lunatic’s tendency to slide betrayed it at the last moment, wheels smoking as it accelerated up the stretch with the tail out, slipping behind to hand the win to the Infernalis, its ultra-long first gear allowing it to take off more smoothly.
Having slipped behind for lacking both the utter speed of some, and the cornering of others, the Necronia Emperion was next, leading on the Annihilator by a second. Then there was a long silence as it wasn’t until seven seconds later that Rayyan screamed through, bonkers FF coupe burning out up the straight. The RB-02 was shortly behind, nipping through the final chicane ahead of the lumbering Ruby, and getting off the mark a little better, as the Ruby’s front wheels completely let go, shredding its front tyres all the way to the finish.
It wasn’t until five seconds later that the rest of the cars started coming through, now increasingly spread out. The Elegance DA, Vindicator and E30 LS7 M had all formed an orderly line of disorderly driving, the older and cheaper cars with parts fatigued and fading from the sustained abuse of all out speed and fast corners. Even more disorderly were the Felicia Combi, leading on the Kodiak, whose saving grace was the retuned brakes, now with ventilation that saved it from melting down entirely. By some mercy, the terrifying ride of the two speed in the rattling old junker, the Testis, did not end in a wreck, and despite almost taking a wrong turn several times from drinking far too much gin, it rattled across the line to round off the race.
I retract all my statements re: your OP and humbly withdraw from this conversation! 
the cool artwork is one of my favourite things about this competition (that drawing of Enry was badass)