Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:32 pm
Up from the depths: The Cerberus, by Normandy Automotive.
*Sorry for so many posts, I'm a stay at home dad and have lots of free time...*
I submit for your approval, the world's first Sport Utility Van. This is the Cerberus. Or as the guys in research called it "Project Soccer Mom."
As it turns out, everyone develops vehicles along very specific paths. You have your all-terrain crap; your 1000 MPG econo-boxes; your 4-door, 4-wheeled, rolling family dog kennels; your super-powered, fire-breathing, V-18 monsters; and your high torque pick-em up trucks.
But what of the family man? The man who long ago, sold his soul to the gods of the mortgage and once a month sex life? The gods of antiquing and shoe shopping? To him way say "Sir. Thank you for your sacrifice. We salute you and we beg your automotive forgiveness."
We give you the Cerberus. Our 4-door 5-seat, 784 HP Super-Wagon. This monster revs to 7500 RPM's and thanks to an AWD, Double-clutch 6-speed gearbox, not only will it get from 0 - 62 in 2.7 Seconds, but it will grab life by its freshly turned 18 year old pig tails and ride the wave all the way to 187 MPH. Not only will it haul every level of ass humanly imaginable, but your three kids, and you're weekly groceries.
To those of you who nay-say, and meep from the darkened corners clutching what remains of your masculinity while saying "But Boss, who in their right mind would buy this? It's beyond stupid. It's beyond obnoxious. It isn't even safe!" I say to you, get out of my office and hock your bullshit elsewhere. I have MEN to talk to.
I submit for your approval, the world's first Sport Utility Van. This is the Cerberus. Or as the guys in research called it "Project Soccer Mom."
As it turns out, everyone develops vehicles along very specific paths. You have your all-terrain crap; your 1000 MPG econo-boxes; your 4-door, 4-wheeled, rolling family dog kennels; your super-powered, fire-breathing, V-18 monsters; and your high torque pick-em up trucks.
But what of the family man? The man who long ago, sold his soul to the gods of the mortgage and once a month sex life? The gods of antiquing and shoe shopping? To him way say "Sir. Thank you for your sacrifice. We salute you and we beg your automotive forgiveness."
We give you the Cerberus. Our 4-door 5-seat, 784 HP Super-Wagon. This monster revs to 7500 RPM's and thanks to an AWD, Double-clutch 6-speed gearbox, not only will it get from 0 - 62 in 2.7 Seconds, but it will grab life by its freshly turned 18 year old pig tails and ride the wave all the way to 187 MPH. Not only will it haul every level of ass humanly imaginable, but your three kids, and you're weekly groceries.
To those of you who nay-say, and meep from the darkened corners clutching what remains of your masculinity while saying "But Boss, who in their right mind would buy this? It's beyond stupid. It's beyond obnoxious. It isn't even safe!" I say to you, get out of my office and hock your bullshit elsewhere. I have MEN to talk to.
- Attachments
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- Cerberus-3.png (936.75 KiB) Viewed 1913 times
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- Cerberus-2.png (1.06 MiB) Viewed 1913 times
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- Cerberus-1.png (958.57 KiB) Viewed 1913 times
