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So, the title might sound a little strange, but hear me out!

I am inspired by the almighty Hummer H1 Alpha for this challenge. What you must do is create the biggest lump of metal you can.

RULES
General:
-Tech year must be 2005

Chassis:
-Heavy.
-Off-road bodies only.
-Any parts that benefit Off-Roading.

Engine:
-Any Layout.
-Must produce a metric sh*t tonne of Torque but a relatively low Horsepower figure. (This is open)

Specs:
-Must weigh as much as a house, if not more (3000kg or lb equivalent)
-Must have a 0-60 time of more than 10 seconds.


STATS OF MOST TO LEAST IMPORTANCE:
Off-Road, Utility, Reliability, Nothing else matters.

Bonus points for stupid model designations, or puns on heavy things.

The scoring will work based on a table. This table will have all of the cars stats for each category. There will be four victors from this event, the best off-roader, the most utilitarian, the most reliable, and overall. plus the pun champion, for most cringe-worthy name.

Overall will be calculated by how you place in all categories.

Rules may change, and I will agree with most, as this was made on the spot.

i found 3 tons is pretty close to impossible with any body. no matter how large, no matter how big the engine


this was the best i could do in a 30 minute scrambling




and. with a 9.8l engine. the power was bigger than the torque. and 0-60........ 5.9 sec

I would say, maybe add a cost limit, otherwise there could be stuff like this above.

3 tons impossible you say?

Childs play, with no quality sliders.

As a side note, drum brakes for the time being have an off-road bonus (even though they suck). Kilrob has said they will be removing the bonus.

Define what you consider an off-road body. Ie suv/truck, and not that van that can sport really large tires?

Anything truck or Ute/pick-up like is allowed. Also, have you seen the price of the Hummer?

Depends on which hummer. A good H1 Alpha will cost up to 100k, maybe more. Buy you can pick up an army surplus Hummer at an auction for a few thousand dollars.

I did mean the H1 Alpha, which this challenge is based off.

Having a little trouble getting my weight up, only 2.6 tonnes and my 0-60 is at 11. I think its because I am melting the tires off.

So I have been trying to get my vehicle to not run a 0-60 time that's so quick... but I haven't been able to get it over 7.5 seconds. I guess I need to reduce power. Here are the performance stats thus far:

3.5tons heavy enough?

(posting stats because, well we only need to judge 3 stats really.)

Unrivaled Comfort, Unrivaled Power, Unrivaled Prestige, Unrivaled Utility, and Unrivaled ease of use, the 2005 Yellow Submarine was made to bring you do an expected destination. To the center of your soul atop the shimmering peaks of the rockies. The lowest valleys of the Grand Canyon, the sloped peaks of the Moab, and the vast desert lands of the Mojave.

Some say you cant put a price on freedom, the makers of the Yellow Submarine say otherwise. Intelligent design with a Variable cam profile give the Sub an almost flat and very predictable power band which gives the exact result you want, at any speed and any condition, thanks to the direct injection you needn't worry about higher altitudes causing dramatic loss of power.

I think I went a little nuts here....

550 ft-lbs of torque at idle
1020 ft-lbs at 2100 rpm
a flat top torque curve from 1900 to 2600
And it runs on regular unleaded pump gas







The engine has enough cast iron that we guarantee that it will stop an RPG

And with the ability to do nearly 200mph this thing can get you into trouble real quickly.

The BSH 105 (Brick S*** House) is guaranteed to be your troops best friend and worst enemy all rolled up into one 3 tonne package.

Boss Motorsports is proud to present the 2005 Boss Boulder Bounder. Coupled with the Stump Puller, this vehicle will contribute to the Boss Absurd Accolade Acquisition Line-Up for the 2005 MY. With our ridiculously absurd Stump Puller having the Best-in-Class Power* we hope that the Boulder Bounder can add to our 2005 success in winning awards in the most brutish way possible.



With plenty of torque and horsepower to go rock climbing, we were able to load this puppy up with Hand Made interior. This thing comes with the nicest entertainment money can buy. You'll want to spend more time in your Boss Boulder Bounder than you will in your home! (And that's not necessarily because your house is in foreclosure because you needed to be able to divert your entire collection of assets to be able to buy the damn car. Don't worry though, we made sure to make our engine run on regular gas to save some change at the pump!)



The Boss Motorsports Boulder Bounder should not be taken to your local track or drag strip. Boss cannot advise trying to turn or stop quickly... there's plenty of rubber, but there is no where near enough braking and way too much weight up high to be able to do anything but be able to bash your way through any off-roading obstacle that's stupid enough to stand in your way.



Best-in-Class awarded by LHE for vehicles between $25,000 and $35,000.

Not that it matters, but I am surprised how low your Drivability stats are.



Also, Updated my post with some RP for ya guys.

I honestly didn't even notice. I completely ignored them. I only cared that my tweaks kept making my Offroad, Utility, and Practicality stats turn green while keeping Reliability high. I guess I'm good at being single-minded. (See Stump Puller)