Barely Street Legal League [SURVEY ON PAGE 70]

[VosNox]

Very amaze-balls. I was kind of hoping for a card for Evanescere, but that's not important. You are awesome.

[strop]

Yeah I'm getting the story done. In actual fact I'd love to slowly work over proper graphics for this after it's all done. Also I should get back to beta duties (I move back home in a week and a half), and writing that article from a long time back and a previous build... Remember my first thousand horses thread?

EDIT:

Almost forgot, for maybe the second last time, I would like to present you the list of...

(MORBIDLY) FUN STATISTICS!

Number of casualties by faction:

BSLL Participants: several minor injuries, 1 serious but stable, 1 critical condition, 1 missing presumed dead
BSLL Affiliates: crew of Fiona (unknown number) missing, location and status unknown
Mod Squad: 1 critical condition
The Agents: 1 critical condition, 1 missing presumed dead
The Americans: 4 serious but stable, 5 critical condition
The Russians: 2 minor injuries, 2 serious but stable, 4 missing presumed dead
The Germans: several minor injuries
Civilians: none

Methinks the ambulance service is going to be pretty busy!

[Lothoren]

i kinda stayed quiet on this and let it played out.... well played strop amazing story, So when is the book coming out?

[strop]

Book? Haha goodness me no, I couldn't possibly publish this. Fun fact, the story as it is now stands at approximately 100000 words, but to be honest this is the unregulated fantasy playground of (mostly) boyish action movie fantasies and the plot is a bit... well, it's a mish-mash. You could say we made it work and got a crazy story out of it, but if I set out to write a novel, I wouldn't have written it like this!!!

However as the beginnings of an Automation based fiction franchise, well, it's got potential. You can watch this space over the course of the next several months and a world and concept will grow in detail and focus.

[07CobaltGirl]

Who let that bitch live????? She should have been in Evenescere with that dickhead Moustache!!!! When I heal up, I am going to hunt her down, shave her head, and heel-stomp that ugly mug of hers into a bloody hole!

[OOC] Awesome story, strop! Thanks to everyone who participated and sorry for my [seeming] absence over the past few weeks. I've just been really busy since Thanksgiving and had no extra time to speak of.

[3rayman3]

She must return in the sequel with a mind for vengeance and fire

[07CobaltGirl]

She must return in the sequel with a mind for vengeance and fire

I promise you do NOT want to see where my RP goes if this happens. hahahaha

DIE, BITCH, DIE!!!! **upholsters her recliner with the tanned hide of Agent Black (a.k.a. "The Ponytail")**

[strop]

...

Wow, you're nearly as mad as Vos when it comes to using people as upholstery

I have a bit of weekend travel and work to do, hopefully during which I'll get the next part and THE FINAL RESULTS out (I would say Monday evening my time, i.e. GMT +10)

[07CobaltGirl]

She destroyed my beautiful M3!!!! She deserves to die for that alone. THEN she tried to KILL me.

[strop]

(And your "girlfriend" too, don't forget )

Also in reality, your M3 is almost remaining in working condition. For most cars, the EMP hook, apart from punching holes in the bodywork or windows, won't cause permanent damage to the cars. In fact, here's the next round of...

FUN FACTS: DAMAGE REPORT for each car in the BSLL (not counting normal racing wear and tear of engine, drivetrain and tyres. Assume all engines need rebuilding and tyres are completely bald)

AED Griffin- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
AMW Brimstone- somewhat damaged dampers due to several airborne stints otherwise ok
AR.MA. SD-01R- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
Ascension Mephisto- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
Baltazar Thanatos Estate- clean
Banks Debrauna Gumball Ed.- clean
Centauri Vindicator- swiss cheese, might as well rebuild the whole body. RIP.
Cottam Elegance DA- crumpled front, would take quite a bit of work at the panelbeaters but salvageable
Dalora Infernalis- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
Decker Annihilator- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
E30 LS7 M- several scratches and dings, a broken rear window and a head-sized dent in the right door
EGT Achernar X90- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
Gemina XIII GTX- the rims will need replacing after running the spike strip, also, the undertray is wrecked. Otherwise, a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
HFF- a few scratches and dings, somewhat battered due to excessive bumping
Leeroy Lunatic- several scratches and dings but in ok condition
Necronia Emperion- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
Normandy Kodiak- swiss cheese, crumpled up, and pretty much wrecked. RIP.
Peapod GG Tune- engine bay is a mess due to exploding engine. Cracked shell due to running into barriers at high speed. RIP
Raggari Mutant- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
RB-02- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact
Ruby- fairly bent out of shape due to excessive bumping
Sleipnir- completely and utterly destroyed and lying in about a thousand pieces along Dottinger Höhe. RIP
Testis- a twisted wreck lying in about a thousand pieces at Aremberg. RIP
The Hulk- a few scratches and dings and maybe the chrome bumpers are dented. Actually stopped due to running out of fuel
YCB Yacare ULTRA X- a few scratches and dings but mostly intact

That is, as far as I can recall off the top of my head. If that's not consistent with what I've written or your impression do let me know!

[nialloftara]

Ah the advantage of ladder frame chassis, time to get another body to bolt on! Maybe this time it can fit wider tires.

[07CobaltGirl]

Well, she wasn't my "girlfriend". She was the daughter of a friend who had computer skills and wanted excitement in her life.

As for the M3, the dent in the door and scratches/dings makes it not perfect, therefore she "destroyed" my beautiful M3!!!!!

[strop]

well yes to be sure we know that (about aixa), or at least, anybody who was paying attention should I'm just facetiously referring to Black's taunt.

[07CobaltGirl]

haha yeah, forget her. Ponytail needs to have her head shaved and a car parked in her ass (but not my M3) permanently. The world has no use for robotic wenches who are angry with the world for being open-minded.

Aixa is a really nice girl, and probably my type too. Very homely (but still pretty), young, and not nearly as naive as her appearance suggests (she runs pen-testing for government contracts and high-profile corporations after all!) She's also into men, so yeah, there's that small issue.

[strop]

At long last, the update with the actual goods. Without further delay, here it is:

_______________________________________________________________

The sun rose on smoke and sirens. The flashing lights of the police cars were joined by the flashing lights of ambulances and tow trucks, and the casualties of war, people and cars alike, were loaded up and bundled away with Germanic efficiency.

Unfortunately for one Sam Neil, there was no substitution for the good old Jaws of Life when it came to extricating him out of the completely twisted wreck that used to be Sleipnir. By some miracle the cabin cell had not buckled, despite Gryphon Gear’s habitual inattention to safety, and so it was everything else that was trapping him inside.

The moment the jaws had pried away enough that Sam was visible, still strapped inside and looking only slightly the worse for wear, Hannah scrambled up to what used to be the driver window and was now a cutaway section of the cabin. “Sam! Are you okay?”

“Why yes,” Sam replied, “Thanks for as-“

“YOU IDIOT!” Hannah leapt into the exposed cabin and started pummelling a completely immobile and defenseless Sam. “YOU ASSHOLE! YOU WRECKED SLEIPNIR! WE DIDN’T PAY YOU TO STUFF OUR PROTOTYPE.”

“Hey!” Sam yelped, trapped by his harness and left with no choice but to cover up with his arms as Hannah beat the stuffing out of him. “That hurts! I’m not okay! I’m not okay!”

The enraged shrew had to be hauled out of Sleipnir by two police officers, and was later booked for affray and battery at the police station that served as a temporary lockdown while everybody who hadn’t ended up in hospital, awaited processing of their licenses and passports. The rest of the charges and alleged offences made for quite the list. Riley, Leo and Absolution got away with a mere and rather superfluous charge of reckless driving. The driver of the Lunatic, Harizvet, Niall, Matt, Aaron Cottam, Jason Necronia, Enry, Lothoren, Sturt Decker Jr., Georgi Truchev , Seba Machado III, Sam Neil, and the Mysterious Italian driver (who turned out to look suspiciously similar to a certain active and successful WTCC driver), were all handed an additional charge of attempting to evade arrest. In addition to these charges, Tom was booked for having (and using) illegal modifications in his car, but fortunately Elena got off scot free seeing as she was purely a passenger on this particular ride. Yuri got done in not only for reckless driving and attempting to evade arrest, but assaulting several police officers in the process. Getting towards the somewhat more serious end of the spectrum, Strop, who had declined to go to hospital on account of still feeling okay, despite having a massive tampon shoved up his nostril to stem the bleeding, was also charged with the operation of an illegally modified projectile weapon. Among the driving charges, Kai Kristensen was also booked for theft of a law enforcement officer’s vehicle (“But I was just borrowing it! You can totally have it back.” Kai protested, to no avail.) Aixa was booked for her role in hacking a vehicle’s computer systems for the purpose of gaining remote access. And on Kristina’s rap sheet was the possession and use of an unlicensed firearm and melee weapon, and causing grievous injury with intent to commit murder.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur as everybody was moved, first to the relative safety of the Hotel Dottinger Höhe, and then bypassing the local county station at Adenau, which was clearly too small to house two dozen suspects at once, and trundled the sixty kilometres to the more centralised station in Koblenz, where they were herded into the cooler to await their fate and the outcome of whatever legal counsel they sought, had they elected to speak to the rather dour looking fallow deer with oversized antlers in a suit who purported to be their lawyer but rather looked like he couldn’t care what he was. One by one, they were called up for interview and left the cell. As minutes trickled by, the cell population dwindled, and the remaining occupants became increasingly bored. Strop was taking a nap, snoring out of his clogged nose. The others occupied themselves by huddling on the bench and betting on the outcomes of each case depending on how long it took to process. If it was only four or five minutes, it was probably a fine. Longer than that and they wondered whether an argument would break out, just to liven things up. But even Kristina, who faced the most serious charges of all, had used her phone call and had her crack underground connections on the case to plead a case of self-defence, which, provided it was properly done, was actually pretty self-evident.

It was when several officious-looking people in fancy looking uniforms walked into the station that the true reality of the situation started to sink in. And the remaining onlookers thought they might have the spice they hoped for, when Rayyan was called into the interview room.

Casual as you please, Rayyan lazily returned salute from the surrounding officers before plonking himself into the folding chair, a bored look on his face. “Let’s get this over with.”

Along with the dead-inside lawyer, seated opposite him was no longer the Polizeihauptkommisar, but now the Polizeidirektor, with three gold stars on his lapels. Both stared at Rayyan with disapproval.

“Marshall Rayyan Rawat,” the lawyer deadpanned. “Doubtless you are aware why all these officers have gathered here.”

“If it’s about my medal for leadership in an emergency situation, you can send it in the mail.” Rayyan grinned.

One of the officers in the background stepped forward, his blue uniform and striped sleeve insignia denoting him as an officer of the Royal Air Force. “Marshall,” he began, struggling to keep a straight face with a vein clearly bulging out from his temple.

“At ease, Commodore…” Rayyan peered at the patch over his breast pocket. “Holsworthy,” Rayyan waved him down.

“I am the commandant of the Royal Air Force squadron stationed in Belgium.” He cocked his eye at Rayyan expectantly.

“That’s excellent,” Rayyan clapped. “Your forces were absolutely invaluable in this crisis situation.”

Commodore Holsworthy stiffened and turned a deeper shade of red. “With all due respect Marshall, those jets are reserved for use for NATO support. Scrambling them without obtaining proper authorisation is a serious breach of the code of conduct of-“

“Commodore,” Rayyan rolled his eyes. “I don’t expect you to understand given you were not on the scene, but the situation was time critical and it would be easily proven that my decision achieved the best possible outcome.”

“Be that as it may Marshall Rawat,” piped up a uniformed officer from behind Rayyan, whom he belatedly recognised was a member of the Military Police, “A breach is a breach and is still subject to disciplinary action.”

“That’s fine,” Rayyan shrugged. “The pilots operated on my command. I assumed responsibility for the situation. I’m sure you realise that is what is supposed to come with having a higher rank.” He winked at the officers.

“That’s precisely our point.” With that the MPs moved in and flanked Rayyan on either side. “As the senior officer claiming responsibility, we must place you under arrest until you are extradited to the UK and to stand trial in the Military Courts.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Rayyan scoffed. “I’m a marshall. What commanding officer is fit to trial me?”

“Of course it’ll be a Court Martial,” the lawyer advised him with the traces of a smirk. Rayyan sighed as he was escorted out of the station and into a waiting car. How inconvenient, after all, he was pretty sure this meant he wouldn’t make it to the afterparty.

Finally, just the crew of the Gryphon Gear team remained, left to sweat it out until last. Within the confines of the walls and bars of the cell, only the clock told the time. There was no sunlight or darkness or moon and stars, only the digital clock on the wall that told them that it was now the early hours of the morning. And, given the date on the paper that Kai was attempting to read out loud in broken German, legs propped up on the bench, it looked to be the final day of November.

"Was so.. voll...vollst- Completely ze... fuck... zerst... zerstört... completely destroyed, that it no- it wasn't mö- possible."

"So, what was your grades like on school?" Sam interrupted, wide smile tired along with the rest of him.

Tesla, probably the one of them with the most energy, punched him on the shoulder. "Sam!"

"Hey!" Sam rubbed the spot with a grimace. "I'm just saying he reads really well. For a third grader..." The smile widened slightly.

"And you behave well for a toddler, don't you." She shot back, and nudged Kai, who had zoned out completely. "Continue."

Sam stuck out his tongue at her, and crossed his arms, pouting. "Actually..." Strop leaned forward a bit on his seat. "Could you, perhaps..."

"Just read it in your head and tell us what it says." Hannah 'kindly' helped out, tone clearly stating she had lost her patience with the stuttering reading several minutes ago.

“… that it wasn’t possible to identify whether the vehicle was a car or a light plane,” Kai finished lamely.

Strop leaned over Kai’s shoulder, nose scrunching up as he was faced with an impenetrable wall of German. “Does it say anything about the BSLL?”

Kai shook his head. “Nope, it’s all about a chase and a crash on the Autobahn. There’s no mention of anything else.” An immediate mixture of relief, and maybe just a tad of disappointment, wafted through the cell.

Just then, the cell door opened, and the lawyer in the suit that looked like a relative of Gryphon Gear’s own ‘deerector’ poked his head in.

“All of you, come with me.”

Hannah, Tesla, Strop, Kai, Sam and Noah all filed into the interviewing room, where, to their surprise, they found not only the lawyer and the German police, but also Der Bayer Von Awesome and Jack Cossack standing by. In silence, they sat down, and fidgeted while they waited for the lawyer to over-deliberately lower himself into the creaky folding chair. Strop could have sworn that making people sweat in suspense was how the lawyer got his kicks. What a pervert.

After about five minutes of staring at each other, the deer’s elbows propped on the table and hands folded, partially obscuring his face, he finally spoke.

“Good morning. My name is-“

“HELLO BAMBI!” Sam exclaimed, trying to lighten up proceedings with a big shit-eating grin and a proffered hand. In unison, the GG crew scowled at Sam. The lawyer didn’t smile either, merely leaned forward until his six and a half foot tall frame towered over Sam, antlers nearly scraping Sam’s face.

“My name is Kurt. You would do well to remember that, Mister Neil.” He said as evenly as he could, eyes narrowed into a squint. Sitting back, he resumed as if nothing had happened. “You are from the company Gryphon Gear, correct? I’m told that you are the hosts of the event to be held at Nordschleife, at which a certain terrorist was present. Suffice to say that in itself carries potentially serious ramifications for which you would need legal counsel, but I was advised that you already have your own legal division. So I took the liberty of calling her.”

There was a palpably horrified silence, after which Hannah muttered, “Yeah. Thanks. Appreciate it mate,” with as much sarcasm as she could muster. The laywer ignored her.

“Fortunately for you, there is a suppression order from very high up, on all of the events today related to that terrorist. Meaning it would be impossible to try you for most of the charges brought against you, much less convict and sentence you. The remainder of the offences, however, are listed here, and the balance is payable before we release you.”

With that, the lawyer handed them a docket, long enough that it coiled around itself. The Gryphon Gear crew took one look at it and collectively winced.

“As you can see, the bulk of that sum is due to estimated repair costs to the track. Be assured that it is only a fraction of the total cost, and much of it has been subsidized by… other parties. As for the rest, I will tell you everything as I have told the others. While you will not be facing any additional charges, this is a very delicate situation. We advise you to leave Deutschland as soon as possible. And obviously, don’t cause any more trouble before you leave. And possibly, try to stay away from Europe in general. For a few years.

“That’s all.” The lawyer waved them away. “Pay your fines at the cashier out the front. Your cars have been kept in the car park adjacent. Now get out.”

And with that, they were free, at least, after scrounging every last bit of cash and very nicely requesting the constable to escort them to the cars first so they could retrieve their stuff and, maybe, make up the difference, though they would have in reality needed a couple of zeros on the end to foot the bill, only to be told at the cashier that part of the bill had already been paid on their behalf. The fresh, damp morning air and the cold grey skies was bracing as they stepped out the front entrance of the Polizeipräsidium Koblenz, and into freedom. Stretching their arms wide, they took a deep breath and sighed in relief that all the action and tension and madness of the last month was winding to a close.

Just then, something started vibrating. It was Noah’s phone, nestled in his breast pocket.

“Uh oh...." He mumbled, and looked up at the others for... guidance? "It's Dan."

“Oh shit dude, that’s a howler,” Strop offered helpfully.

Noah grimaced and looked at the others, still holding the phone that was vibrating angrily in his hand. Hannah huffed. "Don't just sit there. Take it."

Noah didn't need to be told twice, and pressed the screen. For a moment, nothing was heard, then he turned the screen towards the others, and the picture of Dan, complete with death glare and Assassin's Creed T-shirt stared back at them.

"ARE YOU ALL COMPLETE LUNATICS?!" She yelled, making the speakers of the phone scratch uncomfortably. "Are you even aware how much trouble you are in, how much trouble your have pulled the company into? You should all be happy I wasn't busy with anything, because you’re all going to be in... in... Ugh! And you, YOU!" She pointed angrily at them from the screen, though it wasn't entirely possible to see who exactly she was pointing at. "You STOLE a POLICE CAR?!" Ah, Kai. Dan threw out her hands in frustration. "What were you thinking? No, nevermind, you weren't, I kno-"

Kai leaned forward and pressed the screen with a highpitched "Boop!", ending the call.

Noah turned the phone and looked at it. "Did you-"

"Better turn that off before she decides to call back." Kai flashed him a grin. Noah just nodded slowly, still in shock, and did so. "You are a dead man." Hannah too shook her head. "Yeah, nice knowing you, bro." Tesla added, nudging Kai. Sam, apparently feeling left out, spoke up. "Uh, what just happened??"

Strop patted him on the shoulder. “You’ll find out when we get back to Australia.”

Jack Cossack adjusted his hat as he brushed by the group. “Jack!” Strop called after him, chasing him down just before he set off down the road. “I just wanted to say thanks for your help with all…” he motioned vaguely. “This. Really, we wouldn’t have made it through if the Mod Squad wasn’t here.”

“No problem. We were just doing our job,” Jack nodded modestly, before flashing a grin. “Thank YOU for creating this little slice of awesome. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m heading to the hospital.”

“Ah yes, how are Roland and the hobo?”

“Stable enough. Roland’s leg bones are back where they belong. The surgeons tell me the hobo might have to make do with a fake nose, though, apparently it’s impossible to reattach noses. But they’ll recover now that they’re no longer bleeding on the inside.”

Strop sighed in relief. “Well, good luck then. Do join us for the evening announcement. And the after party.”

“Will do.” Jack gave a small wave, and then he was off down the road. As for Strop and the rest of the crew, it was time to find a bed and crash into it.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Welcome all, to the final announcement of the Barely Street Legal League.” In the twilight, at the edge of the river Mosel, Strop stood in front of the assembled crowd. “We’ve been through a lot together, so I would just like to extend my thanks to each and every one of you who made this an experience never to be spoken about, but always to be remembered.”

There was a little whoop and some applause, which quickly died down. “I’d also like to mention a couple of absences. Rayyan sends his apologies, as he was, apparently, deported back to the UK to stand trial in a court martial. Roland and the Hobo are recovering in the hospital, and I encourage you all the visit them before you head back home. And finally, let us spare a thought for our fellow competitor, Vos.” He gave a little salute. “Vos, you were one crazy bastard and you caused us a shitload of trouble, but no longer. Rest in peace.”

Several seconds passed, and the only noise was the background traffic, and the rustling of the wind over the water.

“Doubtless by now you are wondering about the final results of the tournament. The good news is that our data is all intact, so we have been able to put it all together. Thus, without further ado, I present to you, the final standings of the Barely Street Legal League!”

______________________________________________________________________

First, the final part of the Crazy Wheels stakes, the points awarded for tech year and layout:



And now the moment you’ve all been waiting (too long) for, the full standings for the Ultimate Street Legal Rider:



Congratulations to Leo Baltazar! In his own words, never underestimate the power of power. POWAAAAAAAA. Notable mention should go to Riley Banks, who actually produced an insanely well tuned FR coupe with no driving aids, or, perhaps I could say, the truest racer among us. Niall has also built a surprisingly strong car, one that punched well above its weight given just how crazy it was. But ultimately, it is no surprise that the Crazy Wheels award goes to Vos!

_____________________________________________________________________

“So there you have it,” Strop called out amongst the general applause and congratulations and excited chatter. By this point, nobody truly cared about their exact places in the standings, those who had done better than expectation only feeling that little bit sweeter that they had gone through one of the craziest months of their lives and come out the other side in one piece. Finally, Hannah nudged Strop with a meaningful look and a quick zig-zag motion at her neck. Strop understood, and dispensed with dragging things out.

“Okay!” He shouted. “The Barely Street Legal League is now over! Drinks and karaoke at the Irish Pub, across the road, right now!”

“PARTY HARD, WOO!” Sam punched the air, and charged across the road, almost getting collected by a passing car along the way. But everybody else had picked up on the burning spirit, and with a roar of approval they set off and descended upon the bar, to illuminate the evening with their fire.

____________________________________________________________________

[ooc] Phew! I have one more part to write after this, but it's all party-related. You're free to write your own party bits, or else, suitable endings to your own character's story (sorry Rayyan, I couldn't quite let you off ENTIRELY scot free, but suffice to say I don't think your court-martial will result in anything more than a slap on the wrist.) Also, unfortunately, 8bs and Vos aren't able to make this particular party for obvious reasons

That was 95000-ish words of crazy stuff going on there. Not too shabby. I'd like to extend a big thanks to behind-the-scenes guy Cen, who actually keeps track of everything and keeps the story structure held together even while I'm making it even more unstable. Sorry it spiralled a bit out of control and as a result I ended up releasing the final results 2 months after I intended to but I do hope you enjoyed yourselves, and it was worth it. As for the exact specifics of future plans, well, stay tuned to this thread and I'll let you know once the story properly finishes with a big fat THE END