Got Rice? Tuners challenge [Accepting Entries | 10.feb DL ]

[asdren]

Looking for an entry sports coupe? Then look no further, we present the '92 Revera FS 3.0 4wd. A 3Liter 200hp inline 6, limited slip diff, and our new variable all wheel drive system is everything an enthusiasts heart needs.

[thecarlover]

Presenting the 1980 Pepe B1, in rare "warm brown." Designed for the Archanian market, it runs on a horribly underpowered 1.0L using regular leaded that could really use a modern tuning. But it only costs $6800!

[BlahLord]

Woah the series is getting a lot of feedback, we're expecting quite a variety of cars, from kei cars to budget supercars.
I'll update the Car Showroom in a totally different style.
Events and challenges are going to be figured mid-week, you can expect first entries during the weekend,
PEACE!

[BlahLord]

*You switch to your favourite TV channel, with a bowl of popcorn in your lap, jumping up and down on your old dirty sofa that smells like a pile turd. But you are happy as the final block of commercial end and the text shows "GearTop", the show you could kill for*

Today we are taking a look at the 2002 Visto, by the Erin motors company!
First off we notice the design of the car, it looks like a happy small gerbil in my opinion, but who cares let's take a look under the bonnet!

In the engine bay we can see a small 1.4l turbocharged engine that will spew out 94 Horse Power at the redline, which is wierd considering the company really limited the engine output but, this obviusly isn't a sporty hot hatch. Indeed it does six liters per 100 kilometers! We also note that this little engine can squeeze 172nm of torque thanks to it's really efficent turbocharger setup.

Now let's take a close look inside the car!

Inside there's a generic standard interior, nothing new or fancy a clunky radio that, you knew it! Supports CD-ROM and a cassette player, come on people it's the 21st century! I've also got info that this car could probably survive a direct hit by a nuclear missile! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Let's take the car to the test track on a quarter mile race, why? Well I got bored with a normal review and this eco-box car is going to drown on some fuel. Alright so here we go! *No tire squeal* Well this is not so exciting isn't it, feels like riding on a cloud. We hit the 100km/h mark in 11.6s and we finish the quarter mile in mid 18 secounds.. This is quite bad, wait, are we reviewing a family eco car for it's sportiness? Well, let's see how would you review it

*A tank smashes into the car in the background*

As you can see, the car is pretty pancake like, but the tank had a struggle crushing it, the cockpit is still in one piece. How amazing that is? You wonder where we got a tank? Well the military didn't want to lend us a nuke to test the theorie, they felt sorry for us and lent us an Abrams..
Sadly we are left without a car to finish the "Normal" test with so we'll hand to end it here

Thank you for tuning in and have a good one!

*Outro starts and shortly the channel switches to another commerical block*

[squidhead]

GAH, they sacrificed "Random person from the street on a hugely overpriced bicycle" segment for this?! Gear Top is going downhill, I blame Jebediah Carlsson

[BlahLord]

GAH, they sacrificed "Random person from the street on a hugely overpriced bicycle" segment for this?! Gear Top is going downhill, I blame Jebediah Carlsson

That comment made me chuckle
So, what do you think guys should I review some more?

[CadillacDave]

GAH, they sacrificed "Random person from the street on a hugely overpriced bicycle" segment for this?! Gear Top is going downhill, I blame Jebediah Carlsson

That comment made me chuckle
So, what do you think guys should I review some more?

Yes do more please

[thecarlover]

Presenting the 1982 Solo Hare V6 Sport. Mid-engine RWD coupe that manages 20.4 MPG and 9:36 around the green hell. Also does 0-100 in 6.9 seconds, all with a naturally aspirated engine that's far from its maximum potential.

[DeusExMackia]

That comment made me chuckle
So, what do you think guys should I review some more?

Oh my God. Please. I was in tears after reading your review of the Visto!

I made a communitasia sporty on a solid rear axle and chugging 80 ron. I will do Visto justice!!!

Please do! Rice it to the point where you could serve it with a lamb jalfrezi!

[Dragawn]

Guys, meet the Dragotec Sx2500! When marketing goes horribly, horribly wrong. Originally intended to be an enthusiast's convertible, until marketing decided there has been a surge in "young women looking for a cute convertible". The engine got mercilessly debored and destroked for less fuel consumption, and worst of all, they made the styling "cute". Mercilessly, the car quickly got stigmatized as a female hairdresser's car.

[BlahLord]

*You rush home from work, oh god no, you think to yourself, I can't be that late!-.. you mumble to yourself as you look at the clock hanging in the hallway. You don't take off your shoes you've been working around the whole day until you reach the living room, swiftly reaching for the remote and tuning onto CBB, luckly you make it just in time for the main review. You take off your shoes, the room instantly starts to reak. "My god", you think to yourself,"What on earth happened down there" but your thoughts stop at that moment as the Vintage Review section starts*

Welcome today we are going to be reviewing a true retro 70's car, oh the poor family that had this car, it's so boxy, suburban and depressive. From the outside it looks like a generic family limo, which it is so let's cut to the chase and check under the hood.

So, under the hood we can spot a 2.5l Inline six engine that will output about 124hp, seriously weak-.. Even looking at this pile of iron sheds tears to my eyes.

So, let's take a closer look at the car, it weights about one point two tonnes, that is really lightweight for a car it's size, the steel plates on this car must be paper thin! Oh, yeah?-.. Is that so?-.. Well-.. Just heard from the crew this car barley passed safety standards back in 1978 when it was produced-.. Didn't they use monkeys as crash dolls back in those days-.. Oh my god, the poor chimps!

Inside, ohh how unsuspected.. Six seats, a standard crappy turdy 8-Track player. An automatic gearbox AND power steering-.. This is a granny car! How could a real man even drive this thing, it must be boring as hell. This company should be sued! This is the perfect murder weapon-.. First you buy this boring-ass car and fall asleep behind the wheel, then you crash, burn and go to hell!

Also it chugs! 22 liters per 100 kilometers. I would expect triple the power out of such numbers! The dissapointment! Pretty average acceleration-.. 19 seconds for a quarter mile-.. This car drained all my will to live.

I Jebediah Carlsson, can't handle the pressure anymore..
*parks the car near a cliff, places the gear into drive, the car slowly rolls off the cliff, crashing and burning*
*Richard Hamster appears on the screen*

Looks like our beloved Jebediah is no longer.. A minute of silence
*The outro rolls without theme music, slowly being replaced with an commerical block*

[squidhead]

RIP Jebediah Carlsson 1912 - 2016

[Vri404]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! JEBEDIAH CARLSON!

[Slax]

One more. Because FWD needs some love too!



Such plans, such failure. Originally meant to become a big climber in the world of motorsports, production and income of the 192C came to an abrupt and permanent halt after an unexpected aluminium shortage struck Lambda in early 1991.
The most common aftermarket 192C parts of today include but are not limited to improved injection setups, replacement turbos and drivetrain conversions. Lots to see, lots to do.

[CadillacDave]

Noooo my poorly produced American shitbox killed Jebediah Carlsson, On the upside the car turned out to be exactly what I wanted it to be (a granny cruiser) good luck tuning this car