Patriot Motor Force - 1989 BLACK EAGLE !!!
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 3:31 am
(DISCLAIMER: HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR PLEASE!)
***************
'MURICA !!!
Prepare to lose your mind. You will now learn about the most stark-raving-mad car company out there.
First we will delve into the story of how it all came to be, as told by the company founder mr. Sherman "Big Block" Bravado.
Q: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU DO?
A: We are Patriot Motor Force of Texas USA and we do evolutionary muscle cars with...erm... "adequate" performance.
Q: WHO ARE YOUR CARS TARGETED AT?
A: Anyone who shares out insan...*cough* INSPIRATION for muscle cars. Raw power. F**k government regulations kind of attitude.
Q: THAT IS CERTAINLY AN UNORTHODOX VIEW...?
A: We ARE unorthodox. We don't give a sweet s**t about what anyone else thinks. We just want to burn fossil fuel and rubber and feel like a MAN!
Q: UMM, OK. WELL THEN, HOW DID IT ALL BEGIN?
A: Rewind back to 1973. Muscle car was dying! Can you believe it! Those were dark days for me, dark days let me tell you. They were fitting low compression pistons to
big blocks FFS! LOW COMPRESSION! I used to have the most terrible nightmares about communists coming to take my Chevelle SS away. Daytime I would just hide in the basement.
Night time I would lurk around the local gas station sniffing the smell of gasoline! It was the only thing that kept me going back then. Soon it all went a little..."funny".
I found myself inside a small room that had some ***** soft padding all over the floors and walls. And they had dressed me up in a...hippie jacket. I was so mad! Get it? MAD!
It took a while before I was able to chew my way out of the straps on that funny hippie jacket. I knocked the guard out and sneaked away. On my way out into the woods I saw
all kinds of Pintos and stuff. ECONOMY cars for crying out loud! Something had to be done lest not the enemy take Murica overnight! So I gathered up some hot rodder friends
of mine and we built a shack in the woods and started working on my Chevelle. What oil crisis? Not where I come from! Thus begun the illustrious story of Patriot Motor Force!
Q: OK, THAT'S NICE. I THINK I'LL BE LEAVING NOW...
A: And then we recruited Mike "Surge" Adams who worked at Rotomaster! And we found use for those ******* low compression pistons! Let me tell you, the world
is a better place with thick petrol fumes in it! And flame spitting exhausts and violent wheelspin! And girls in bikinis! And motor oil all over! And HUUUGE turbos and 4-barrel carbs!!!
And...and...
**Sound of receiding footsteps. Pretty quick paced footsteps.**
PATRIOT EVOLUTIONARY MUSCLE CARS WILL BE PRESENTED AT RANDOM INTERVALS.
I made this car company so I can let my insanity run wild...
