I'd say Volvo's premium estate sector got a solid competitor (though 50K Euro? Probably way out of my budget range, and for the kind of people who would consider buying at that price, it'd be bumping shoulders with the Landrovers and the Porsche Cayennes... ugh
)
Speaking of Volvo, imagine you're a regular Joe/Jill in your regular car (let's say a Mazda3), sitting at the lights just before the on-ramp to the freeway. You know for a fact the road narrows to a single lane prior to feeding onto the freeway and by god does it grind your gears if some asshole gets the jump on you. After all, it's an entire one car length in the queue you've been robbed!
Just then, an old looking station wagon pulls up next to you.
- V70 - R AWD-1.png (254.6 KiB) Viewed 7004 times
You can never quite be sure how old it is, because it happens to be a Volvo, and by god, until this decade or so, Volvos have had a peculiar gift of looking old ever since they were brand new. Must have been something to do with the design muse being a brick.
At any rate, everybody knows the deal with 'bloody Volvo drivers'. Anyone driving a car made by the company that
invented the seatbelts we all know and love today has to be a slow coach. You can't help but smile: ain't nobody harshing your freeway vibe today. But then, you look again at the Volvo, particularly its decals, and frown a little. It looks a little too sporty for a Volvo. Has it been modified? Those brakes look awful fancy, and there's the hint of a lip over the tailgate. Not to mention a few other slightly odd details that you're fairly sure aren't on your own car.
- V70 - R AWD-2.png (274.53 KiB) Viewed 7004 times
So this is one of those V70R AWD models huh? Weren't they the sporty ones that were trying to convince middle-aged dads with kids that wagons could be cool? You could say that this was the wagon that started it all: the beginnings of Volvo's desperate protracted struggle to revamp its image from the ground up, including that weirdly masculine replacement logo. Because marketing somehow knew that anybody who wasn't a guy wasn't about to go out and buy something styled like a brick, perhaps. But enough about bricks. The V70R packed a bit of a punch, wasn't it somewhere to the tune of 245hp? Well, that was new, in 2000. This is now, in 2015, so maybe it has a little less than that. And you can count your blessings, because at least it isn't one of those Subaru Outbacks... now that's a sleeper wagon from stock, what with its 6 second 0-100 time. And those who drive Outbacks know exactly how quick it is. This Volvo on the other hand, needs at least 7 and a half. Which is still quicker than your not-MPS Mazda3 (which you didn't get because a) you don't have a deathwish b) you don't have forearms like Popeye to counteract the torque steer every time you give it the boot c) you couldn't afford one, nor the Golf R you would have gotten if you could have anyway). But then again, what kind of Volvo driver is going to put the boot in it anyway? He probably has kids in the car, though you can't tell because the windows are suspiciously tinted...
...screw this, you aren't losing to some Volvo! You slip your Mazda into sequential mode (for sportier feel), and poise your foot over the loud pedal. As if on cue, the Volvo's engine picks up the revs with a throaty gurgle.
Wait, what? That does NOT sound like a Volvo.
Then the lights go green and up goes an almighty screeching and a cloud of smoke. Five seconds later, the Volvo has disappeared onto the freeway and you're barely across the intersection. What happened bro??? Was it the AWD?
Turns out the V70R was more than a little hotted up. Gone is the 245hp 5 cylinder, and in its place is a hefty 6L V8 tuned to what can only be described as TUBRO MOTHERFUCKER. You weren't to know, but it actually packs in excess of 2000hp, while still being catted and muffled, and running on Euro SuperPlus. And while the original suspension and wheels are still in place, the brakes have indeed been buffed up, and the tyre compound is the stickiest rubber you can find this side of Formula 1. It also hasn't been stripped out at all, still carrying all the bells and whistles it had when it rolled off the factory floor, but regardless, it dispenses with 0-100 in 3 seconds flat, the quarter mile in under 10, onto a top speed in the realm of 450km/h (it managed to clock 390 on Dottinger Hohe in a drag race against a Koeniggsegg Agera R). In fact, even being the land barge it is, somehow, it managed to get around the Green Hell in eight minutes flat, making it one of the hottest street legal estates ever.
- VolvoSleeper.png (403.05 KiB) Viewed 7004 times
One shudders to think what would happen if it were actually stripped out (hint: it goes faster). I guess that goes to show how appearances can deceive! You'll think twice before trying to gun a Volvo off the lights next time.
p.s. this Volvo and that Boqliq Bastion could go racing together, they probably actually have similar track performance
Wed Apr 15, 2015 1:49 pm 
.3 engines avaiable 134hp, 301hp and 650hp.More details about the car in my 
