automationgame.com

Liked the Microsoft one so though I'd give everyone another laugh along the same lines

HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and
turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know
all these technical terms just to use my car?"


HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and
markings from 'E' to 'F.'
Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some
more gasoline.
You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it
for you."
Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to
keep buying more components?
I want a car that comes with everything built in!"


HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars suck!"
HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the
way to the floor.
It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't
start now!"
HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you
expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't
crash any more!"


HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it
has automatic
transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes,
and power door locks."
HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car!"

Working in tech support myself, a lot of this rings very true!

Those posts remind me of a guy who called the companys own help desk, where i worked at...

he said his monitor is malfunctioning;
we gave him a new one and talked a bit to him, but the screensaver started, which was just black;
he gets angry and hits the monitor on the side strong enough to make the mouse laser think he moved the mouse and therefore end the screen saver.



the guys comment " thats the same thing as with the old one"


/facepalm

How about the classic:

The cupholder on my computer broke!

I loved this one:
I plugged in the computer but nothing happens?

What did it do when you pushed the power button?

What power button?



One I had myself the other day:
user: I hooked up my monitor but it wont come on?
me: did the light come on when you pressed the power button?
user: no
me: are you sure the power cord is plugged in properly?
user: the only cord I connected goes to the computer
me: you should have 2 cord total. one going between the monitor and computer, the other going between the monitor and the power strip.
user: are you sure? I only see one on the monitor
me: did you happen to have a power cord on the floor that looks a lot like the computer power cord but a different color?
user: oh, yes there it is.
me: try plugging that cord into the monitor and the other end into a power outlet, then push the power button again.
user: ok hold on... hey it's working now!

this is now a thread about laughing at silly computer users

I once had a guy paste his password into IRC, then went round all the OPs asking for us to "remove" the line of text from the channel then shouting at us when we said it wasn't possible

The op reminds me of the it crowd


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn2FB1P_ ... ata_player

oh lord this all rings true D:

one i got today "my printer's on fire! HELP!"

*i know the guy - he likes to try this shit* "is it really really on fire?"

"no, its just out of paper can you fill it for me?"

D:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUUptX0i55g

Long ago when floppies were used a support tech told a users to send him a copy of the disk. The user mailed in a photocopy of the disk.

I had a manager who showed me his method for sending a secure fax. He stuck what he was sending in an envelope first...

lol how do these people get to work in the morning never mind make manager

I know of one person who had trouble sending a fax. They were holding the paper on the monitor then pushing send

I know this isnt car or computer tech related but the stupidity is the same. Made me chuckle the first time i heard it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1r621_YlRY

Back in 56k modems era, a guy call the shop where he have purchased a modem few hours before.
(THIS IS A REAL STORY)
-Hello, the modem you sold me isn't functioning!
-Let's see... have you connected the power cord?
-Yes...
-And the power led on the monitor is on?
-Yes, it's green...
-So, turn on your computer and try to navigate
-Computer? What computer?
-The computer you want to use for Internet navigation...
-I don't have a computer! The box says that the modem is required to navigate in Internet, no one told me that i need also a computer!
-Yes, you need a computer connected to the modem...
-You gave me false informations. Never mind, i'll find a solution by myself. Bye.
(wonder to know this solution... )