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Normandy - Tastefully Refined Genocide

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VosNox

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Supercharged
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Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 5:06 am

Location: Kansas

Cars: 1983 Chevy S10 2.8

Post Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:08 pm

Re: Normandy - Tastefully Refined Genocide

"Sir!" Your General shouts, scared shitless. "They've breached the perimeter. They're nearing the compound!"

Well, Your Majesty, your reign of terror is ending. The revolution has begun and the freedom fighters have brought enough weapons and supplies to easily supplant you. As you sit at your desk, hearing the thunderous roar of artillery fire and the rapid cracks of automatic weapons fire, you hang your head in shame. At this point, you have exactly three options. Order your men to stand their ground. Sure, they'll take out a few hundred revolutionaries before they fall, but they will fall. You could suck start that gold-plated Desert Eagle you keep at your hip, or could turn-tail and run. Personally, I recommend the third.

So, take your 4 most trusted men, a fuck load of munitions and cram them into your getaway car. "But what about all their jeeps and shit?" You'll ask me nervously...

Introducing the Normandy Valentine. A 4-door Presidential Escape Vehicle. Including several advanced options for today's Tyrant on the go.
The body is made of a blend advanced Carbon fiber layers, between which is filled with a high grade non-Newtonian fluid.
The glass is, of course, bullet proof.
The tires are made of our experimental, high tensile strength, airless polymer, with carbon fiber interweave.

All of this means, the Valentine can resist sustained small arms fire for nearly five minutes.

The interior is, of course, tastefully upholstered with stain resistant leather.
There are cubby holes everywhere for arms and ammunition.
Our state of the art GPS
And our premium 12 speaker sound system.

Lets not forget the engine. A 6.0L DOHC-48 V12 producing 750 HP, bolted to an AWD 7-speed automatic gearbox. 0 - 62 is achieved in 2.9 seconds, and onward to a top speed of 217 MPH. It even gets a decent 16 MPG.

All of this can be yours for a meer $650k.
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First Gen / Second Gen / Next Gen
Current holder the Automation land speed record @ 447.9 MPH
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TurboJ

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Cars: Alfa Romeo 75, Ford Puma

Post Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:24 pm

Re: Normandy - Tastefully Refined Genocide

:D Really nice marketing speech! And the car's not half bad either.
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J.S.C Automobili S.p.A - Exclusive sports cars since 1959
J.S.C Motori Speciali - My open-source performance engines
Patriot Motor Force - 'Murican Evolutionary muscle cars

My Engine Tuning Video Guides
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VosNox

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Supercharged
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Posts: 554

Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 5:06 am

Location: Kansas

Cars: 1983 Chevy S10 2.8

Post Fri Apr 01, 2016 1:38 am

Re: Normandy - Tastefully Refined Genocide

Over the past several years, Normandy has engaged in clandestine talks with one of its most prolific adversaries, Porsche. We asked if we could borrow the rights to the 1980's body 911. They said "go fuck yourself". We walked home, or collective heads hung low in shame. Then, we realized how profanely rich we were, and presented a counter offer. We waltzed, forklift in toe, and kicked the boardroom door open once again. We sat down, and dropped a money bag (with the cliche "$" symbol and all) on the ancient oak table, crushing it completely, and said "...And how about now"

After several seconds of slack-jawed German disbelief, they caved. And we skipped home with with the plans in hand. As such, I present the Shuriken.

In development for the past five years, it required the creation of a whole new subdivision of Normandy Automotive. "Spector Engineering", which will act as our in house tuning company from this day forward.

So What do you do with the blueprints to an archaic machines body? You say "fuck it" and pimp the shit out of it. You rocket launcher open the door of your mad scientists, put them in touch with your new tuning group, bribe them with inhuman amounts of liquor, and send them off, like it's their first day of school.

It comes in three trims.

GT: 3.0L ALSi 24V v6 producing 350 HP/ 0 - 62: 3.2 / TopSpeed: 174 & 25 MPG
GT - RS: 3.0L ALSi 24V Bi-Turbo V6 producing 500 HP/ 0 - 62: 3.0 / TS 189 & 23 MPG
Prices range from $150k to $165k depending on gearbox and creature comforts.

And the Race: With a 3.0 ALSi - Cast Iron 30V v6 producing 500 HP: 0 - 62 2.5 / TS 190 & 15 MPG
$180k
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First Gen / Second Gen / Next Gen
Current holder the Automation land speed record @ 447.9 MPH
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