Car Jokes (Because why not?)

[Jakgoe]

The good thing about Fords is that they come out of the factory with the problem circled.

[Slim Jim]

The good thing about Fords is that they come out of the factory with the problem circled.

...and if it's a LIncoln, the repair costs are squared.

[gt1cooper]

Hey, for the other side
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed

[Jakgoe]

Why are Chevy's aerodynamically designed?

It helps the fuel economy of the tow truck.

[07CobaltGirl]

Hey, for the other side
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed

Nice, but...

Those are far too long to be "cute". Stick to CHEVY. Not as many letters for you FORD guys/gals to remember.

Why are Chevy's aerodynamically designed?

It helps the fuel economy of the tow truck.

HAHA That's a pretty good one!

[Jakgoe]

Why are Chevy's aerodynamically designed?

It helps the fuel economy of the tow truck.

HAHA That's a pretty good one!

Thanks ! The original joke has "Corvette" in place of Chevy, but I felt like taking a shot at the whole lineup!

[Weasel]

Well I'm an Opel-Fan, but in Germany we say:

OPEL - Ohne Power ewig letzter (Without Power always last)
or
OPEL - Optimistisches Projekt eines Lehrlings (optimistic project of a trainee)
or
OPEL - Ost Polnisches Ersatzteil Lager (East polish pare part warehouse)

[WizzyThaMan]

I know another one about Opel; Opel kaufen, immer laufen (Buy an Opel, walk everyday)

[Forge91]

A couple more from Holland:
My english is a disaster, so a other Dutchie might come up with a better translation.

AUDI= Als U Duwen Intereseert (If pushing sparks your interest/If you like to push)
BMW= Bij Mercedes Weg (Left Mercedes, as in: no more mercedes for me)
BMW= Betaalt Met Wiet (Payed with weed, as in, owned by a drugsdealer)
Mercedes= Met Enige Rijlessen Controleert Elke Dwaas Een Slagschip (With some driving lessons, every fool (can) controls a battleship)
Nissan= Na Iedere Start Steeds Alles Nakijken (After every start check everything again)
VW= Volkomen Waardeloos (Totally Useless)

These are all I know atm.

[WizzyThaMan]

[applepi66]

[spavatch]

I'm not sure if it's actually true but they say LOTUS stands for Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious .

[boyercam]

FIAT - Fix It Again Tomorrow

[gt1cooper]

FIAT - Fix It Again Tony

Fixed that for you

[shawa666]

Do you know why Lada has rear window de-icers on their cars?

So your hands don't get cold when you're pushing it.

HONDA: Hold On, 'Nother Dickhead Arriving / Hang On, Nearly Done Accelerating
MOPAR: Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Oldsmobile: Old Lady Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Infernally Late Everyday
Subuaru: Still Usable But All Rusty Underneath
MG: Money gone